Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Can anyone tell that I'm screaming inside?

I sat at the table with some cousins. I was planning to go down to see my parents. I had not told my parents that I had come back to the country to visit them.

"Why don't you tell your parents that you are coming so they can get you some food?" my cousin's wife asked.
"No it's no big deal I prefer it like this.
They probably saw that something was amiss, but didn't probe further.

Extreme Buying
If I were to tell my parents if I needed something, they would over buy. In the past, when I told them simple things like some long underwear for the army, they brought a suitcase full, or shoes for my father in law. Their hoarding mentality precludes rational judgement about things.

Just as my parents hoard in the house, and let junk pile up or needlessly buy, they give in the same way. A simple request for an item turns into an avalanche. Too much is also bad. I know that in my visit I could get by with a simple amount of food, that would not be left over after I left. My parents would not only over buy, but probably buy the stuff that I didn't need and have a lot left over. This would also give them a stand to leverage over me, saying "Look at how much we got for you, and you don't appreciate it."

I prefer to get my food with no strings attached.

My Inner Scream
Desperately, I would have wanted to be questioned further. I would have wanted to burst and say, this is how it is and it's not my fault. I would have wanted to present the images of the hoard.

Yet I felt that the lack of further investigation showed that this was as far as they could go. Not everyone is equipped to hear about this and absorb it. Irrationality doesn't make sense. We want it to make sense.

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